


Unusually beautiful

by ZukkaFireTrash



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Awesome Gwen, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Bruce and Natasha basically babysit Clint, Clint is serious when it comes to Disney, F/M, Gwen gives 0 fucks, Gwen is a BAMF, High School AU, M/M, Mental Instability, Movie References, Multi, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Peter is a cutie pie, Scarred Wade, Slow Burn, Spideypool - Freeform, Still super, Superfamily (Marvel), Wade knows pretty much everything, implied poly, otp prompt, the avengers are freaking protective okay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 10:32:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6075957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZukkaFireTrash/pseuds/ZukkaFireTrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Peter literally falls into Wade Wilson's waiting arms, will he be able to resist the strange new kid's charms?<br/>And what's up with this new anti-hero dude, dropping in on all of Spider-Man's missions?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 'Cause you had a bad day

It had been the absolute _worst_ morning of Peter Parker's life. First off, he'd woken up late _halfway_ through a _glorious_ wet dream by his _dad,_ Tony Stark. Then he'd been scalded in the shower when his other dad (Steve Rodgers) decided he needed a glass of fucking water. Then he'd spilt milk down his top when Tony had asked what he'd been dreaming about. Then when he'd finally got out of the door he was late for his bus, and had to run for _five minutes_ before it stopped for him, only realising after he'd got on that it was full and there was no where to sit.

“Peter!” Gwen called from the back of the bus, “Hey, over here.”

Peter grinned, quickly battling to the back of the bus to get to Harry and Gwen, “Hey, guys.”

“What’s up? You look stressed.” Gwen reached out, squeezing his arm slightly as the bus began to move.

“It's nothing, really, it's just…” He ran a hand through his hair, “I had a rough morning.”

“I hope it's nothing contagious.” Harry joked with a lopsided smirk.

“Well if annoying and intrusive dads become contagious, you'll be the first to know.”

Peter spent the rest of the bus ride lent up rather precariously against one of the poles on the bus, chatting idly with Gwen and Harry. As he noticed they were nearing the school, he stood and backed up a little. The driver took a sudden sharp turn,catching Peter off guard and causing him to barrel forwards.

In an attempt not to land on his face, Peter swerved mid-fall, throwing himself off course, and straight into a stranger. His hands were either side of the headrest, and he found himself sitting squarely on the stranger’s lap, straddling him awkwardly. There was a pause as almost everyone on the bus watched on.

“I've had a lot of first days at a lot of different high schools, and none of them have started with a cute guy falling into my lap.”

Peter’s cheeks flushed bright red, eyes widening slightly as he stared at the new guy. His skin was mottled and patchy, as if he'd been burnt badly, but he was still pretty damn good looking. If anything, the scars made him look dangerously sexy, in a grossly grotesque way.

“So, are you going to sit there staring at me all day or not, because little Wade is getting a little uncomfortable.” Peter scrambled to get off the guy, cheeks flushed and mouth agape. The guy laughed and stood, slinging his backpack (was that a _Hello Kitty_ backpack?) over his shoulder as the bus came to a stop

“Sorry, I didn't mean to- uh fall on you…” He rubbed at his neck, glancing away with embarrassment as the stranger brushed passed him.

“I'm Wade, by the way, Wade Wilson.”

Peter stared at him for a moment, then, jolted by a nudge Harry gave him, called out, “I'm Peter Parker!”

“Pleasure, Peter Parker. Oh and check your back pocket.” Wade gave a wink, chestnut brown eyes flashing mischievously as he stepped off the bus.

“Earth to Peter!” Harry snorted, bumping into Peter as he two swung off the bus, leaving Gwen to roll her eyes and physically begin to drag the frowning boy towards the school.

“Come on lover-bug, let's get you to homeroom.”

“Lover-bug?” Peter questioned, eyebrows raising slightly.

“I'd check your back pocket, if I were you, Peter.” The blonde smirked. With a sigh, he reached into his pocket, pulling out a small scrap of folded paper. There was a doodle of what looked like an upside down guy with scarred skin peeking out from underneath a half taken off mask, kissing a right-way-up Spider-Man. It was a Spidey kiss. Peter scowled at it slightly, and instead looked at the number next to it.

“This is his number, isn't it?” Gwen simply smirked, pulling Peter into the hall by his jacket sleeve.

* * *

After homeroom, Peter had two blissful periods free of Gwen’s mocking giggles and Harry's suggestive smirks about the morning incident with Wade Wilson. However, as soon as he sat down in his normal seat for Chem lab, things went downhill - and kept going until he hit crap city.

Wade Wilson waltzed in five minutes late, “Sorry I'm late, Mr… Ajax… I got lost, you see, it's my first day here.”

Wilson gave the Chemistry teacher a strange look as he was waved off and given a textbook and class book. However as soon he spotted Peter at the back of the room, his face shifted to a grin. He threw his bag down next to Peter’s, and placed the books on the desk top, “Hey there, Parker.” He grinned madly, “Is it just me or does Mr. Ajax look like a Francis to you? A really annoying criminal, that - by the way - refuses to just die, named Francis.”

Peter blinked blankly at the scarred boy next to him, “What?”

“Nothing. So I did some snooping, and it seems your daddies are a little more than a little famous.”

Peter shrugged, scribbling down a few notes, “I guess so, I mean, when one of your two adoptive parents is Tony Stark, it can get cool.”

“I have a question, if you're so rich, why take the bus?” Wade hadn't even bothered to open his books, and was instead leaning on his hand as he stared at Peter, “Why not let daddy buy you a nice sports car and woo all the hot chicks?”

“I don't know.” Peter shrugged, “Why do you care?”

“You're hot and I like you, you make me laugh.” Wade’s grin widened at the pink tint that tinged Peter’s cheeks as he attempted to focus on the lesson.

“I make you laugh?” His eyebrows furrowed slightly as he tried to calm the flush to his cheeks and ignore Wade’s childlike giggles.

“Yeah, plus, you're cute.” The new boy’s smile turned to a slight leer as he whispered, “And you've got the abs and ass of a god.”

Peter’s eyes widened almost comically, however before he could so much as squeak a word, Mr. Ajax spoke up, “Today we’ll be looking at Hydrogen Peroxide, when catalyzed by Potassium Iodide…”

After Ajax had explained how the experiment would work, the class set to work, grabbing aprons, goggles and gloves, before beginning their experiments.

“Aren't you going to do anything?” Peter questioned as he set up the apparatus, “Though that's probably a stupid question.”

“Probably.” Wade agreed, “And it depends on what I feel like, for now I'll just watch.” He shifted slightly, “I've got a great view.”

Opening his mouth to ask, stupidly, ‘of what,’ Peter stopped, thinking better of it, and instead just carried on with what he was doing. Wade spent the rest of his time switching between staring at - what Peter suspected was - his ass and glaring darkly at their teacher.

“Have you got a problem with him or something?” Peter questioned, capturing Wade’s attention mid-whispered rant.

“Huh? Oh Francis-,”

“His names not-,”

“-I guess you could say we have bad blood or something.” Wade ignored the other boys scowl and carried on, “He ruined my perfect good looks and almost killed me in a movie. Pretty sure he did some other bad shit as well. I dunno the boxes are confusing me.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” Wade, who was now sat up on the table top, suddenly reached for the solution in Peter’s hand, snatching it and asking, “What happens if I put that in there?”  
“No!” Peter shrieked as Wade tipped the solution into the tube he had been preparing, but it was too late, an almost-explosion of yellow marshmallow-like foam erupted from the tube, dousing various students on the table in front in the substance.

“Parker!” Peter winced slightly, turning to the teacher, “What's going on here?”

Taking one look at Wade's sheepish grin, he sighed, “Nothing, Mr. Ajax, Wilson just put the solution in too early.”

A shrill _ring_ rang through the halls, and in a mad dash, he deposited his things where they belonged and ran from the classroom, hopping that Wade wouldn't be in his next lesson.

Unfortunately for him, Wade was very much so in his next lesson.

In fact Wade was in every other lesson he had that day, and, upon realising this, Peter began to sob inwardly, thinking pitifully to himself, _“This is going to be a very, very long day.”_

 


	2. Of fathers' and sons'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you all so much for your reviews!!! This chapter's pretty short, but with got some Peter/Steve dad-love going on, next chapter: Spidey meets Deadpool!

He managed to avoid Wade at the end of the day, by running up to Gwen and telling her, _“Sorry I've gotta go, Wade’s following me bye.”_ He then raced to catch the early bus, and proceeded to hide behind his camera. It was a stressful trip home, but once he was on the other side of the front door, he was able to relax.

"Hey there, squirt, how was your day?” Steve pulled Peter into a bone crushing hug, ruffling his hair, before dragging him into the kitchen.

Steve Rogers was strange for a multi-millionaire’s partner. He was tall and good-looking, with brilliant blue eyes and soft blonde hair, but he'd always been a do-it-yourself kind of guy. He point blank refused when Tony tried to get them kitchen staff, insisting that he could cook. And he did, it took a few courses at the college to get anything edible out of him, but once he had the hang of it - Steve turned out to be an amazing cook.

“It was… Weird.” Peter shrugged awkwardly, dumping his bag on the floor and sitting up on the counter top, “Some new guy transferred in today.”

“What's his name? Is he nice?” The blonde questioned, turning back to his cooking.

“Wade. And... Well he's… different… and a little creepy at times, but yeah. He's nice.” Peter fiddled with the camera around his neck, before snapping a few shots of his dad.

“That's good… Is he dating material?”

“Wha- _Dad!”_ Peter stammered, eyes wide and turning on the defensive, “No! No, Wade is not dating material! He's strange and talks to himself, I swear he thinks he's a comic book character or something! And he's perverted and a total wacko!”

Steve laughed, smiling brightly at his son, “Whatever you say, Peter, I was only asking.”

“Right…”

“So how did you two meet?” The blonde took a spoon from the draw and dipped it into what he was making, before blowing on it and holding it out to Peter, “Taste this.”

“Well, urm…” He flushed slightly and occupied himself with tasting the food, “Wow, that's good, what is it?”

“I don't know…” Steve stared at the bubbling pot for a moment, “I just threw in some flavours and stuff? It's a stew I think… So this Wade fella…”

“Oh, yeah, well…” The infamous tinge returned to his cheeks as he began to stammer, “It's actually kinda embarrassing…” The blonde cocked an eyebrow at him, so with a sigh, he retold the morning’s events.

“So… You literally _fell_ for him?” Steve laughed, ignoring Peter's disgruntled complaints, “Well, have you texted him?”

“What? No! No way.” Peter scowled, “He's annoying.”

“Come on, Peter, humour me a little!” He chuckled, “Is he handsome?”

“Dad!”

“What? It's just a question!” The blonde turned back to his cooking, “Anyway, Tony’s gonna be back late tonight, something about a warned attack on Stark Tower. I asked him if he wanted any help, but all he said was not to worry.”

Peter watched as his dad's eyebrows crinkled anxiously, “Hey, it'll be fine.” He assured, “Trust me, you know him, when it comes to Stark Industries he always overreacts. I'm gonna go do some homework, maybe do some Spidey-patrol, later?”

  
"Alright, but be careful." Peter grinned and the blonde gave his son a halfhearted smile, and after giving him a hug, Peter rushed up to his room.

He hadn't always lived with Steve and Tony, and it had been a hard time for Peter when he moved. His parents had died in a plane crash when he was six, leaving him to live with his Aunt May and Uncle Ben. He was only just turned twelve, Aunt May and Uncle Ben had been out for the day, their wedding anniversary, and when Peter found out, he had refused to believe it. They weren't dead, they couldn't be. He'd already lost so much, yet they were. They'd been on their way back, took a wrong turn down a dark alleyway. It only took two bullets.

A funeral was held and he stayed with Harry for a while. That's when Steve and Tony had showed up, it took a few months for Peter to say more than a few words to either of them, and when he did start to open up, Tony decided to take him on a field trip to his lab. Peter had adored the trip and began to open up more - going with Tony to the lab more often, and soon enough four years had passed and he was sixteen, working at his adoptive father’s lab on the weekends.

It was almost a year passed since Peter had been bitten, of course Tony and Steve hadn't the need to tell Peter who they were, he already knew, but they made it clear to him anyway, Iron-Man and Captain America. Peter had no need to keep secrets from them, as soon as he discovered his power, he told them. The two had disagreed instantaneously: where Steve offered to help train their son, Tony had vetoed anything involving his son being in danger.

It took a few months and a whole lot of secrecy, but soon enough, Peter had become Spider-Man and Steve was helping him. It took a lot of courage to finally speak up to Tony about it, and when he did, it had turned out that although he was disappointed, Tony was proud of him.


	3. Who the frick are you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So here we go guys, Spidey finally meets Deadpool!!! I hope you guys enjoy!

Peter blinked awake - sirens, lots of them. Once he'd become Spider-Man, Tony had hooked the radio in Peter's room into the Police radio station, and it was times like these that Peter was pretty thankful to have Tony Stark as his dad. He stumbled out of bed and reached for his suit, “Man dressed like Spider-Man, seemingly attempting to kill another, armed heavily with guns, explosives and swords. Over.”

It didn't take long for him to become suited up and swinging through the concrete jungle.

Who the hell was imitating him and trying to kill people?

Lost in thought, Spider-Man didn’t hear the shouting from below until a car flew through the air and slammed into him. He let out a groan of pain, shoving the metal hunk off of him and rushing over to the commotion. A tall, red-leather-and-spandex clad man stood, towering over a cowering citizen. Two katana swords were strapped across his back, and adorning his hips and thighs were various belts, laden with weapons and explosives.

“Listen, pal, I really don't want to have to use this,” The anti-hero motioned with his gun, “but if you keep running away I'm gonna have to shoot you.”

"Who the frick are you?” Peter whispered, eyebrows knit, before calling, “Hey! Whatever you're doing, stop now and I won't hurt you.”

The guy turned and seemed to stare at Spider-Man for a few seconds, before high pitched squeal bubbled from his lips.

“Holy _fuck!_ It's Spider-Man!” He turned fully now, and even through the spandex, Peter could see the outline of a fully fledged maniac grin. The red-suited guy swayed slightly in what Spider-Man could only describe as _fangirling_ before skipping up to him, and shoving his face right into Spider-Man's, “Hey there bugaboo! Aw you're so cute in person-,” He suddenly froze and turned back to the man he'd threatened earlier, raising his gun and stepping closer to him, “Don't you think for one goddamn fucking second that I've forgotten about you, Princess.”

“Look, Mr...?”

“Pool, Dead.” He turned back to Spider-Man, masked eyes seeming to widen in adoration, “But my friends call me Deadpool. At least, they would if I had any friends.”

“Right… Deadpool, um could you maybe ease off the threats and violence?” A short, hysterical giggle came from the masked man.

“Oh that's funny- _No._ You see, despite the suit and disguise name, I'm _not_ a superhero. I'm what the fans call an  _anti-hero."_  He turned back to the whimpering guy on the floor, “Now if you don't mind, I'd like to do my job.”

Spider-Man scowled as Deadpool turned away from him, and in one swift movement, he was stood in front of the gun, glaring through his mask, “And what, your job is _killing_ people?”

There was a pause, “Uh… _Duh,_ was that not clear enough to you? I'm a mercenary, and, ya know, red suit so the bad guys don't see me bleed. Great minds think alike, Spidey-poos. Also, I have _katanas_ on my back - which Yellow, by the way, is telling me to use. Violently. Right now. Immediately. And I really hate to keep Yellow waiting.”

“Look, how about we take a break from all of… _this_ … Take a trip down to SHIELD and talk about maybe getting you another… less mercenary… job?” Spider-Man tried, grimacing hopefully at the madman.

"Sorry, no can do, baby boy. SHIELD and I aren't exactly simpatico." He shifted, gun raised and firing a warning shot towards his victim, "Where the fuck do you think you're crawling off to, maggot?"

The Spider-Man theme blared from Peter's pocket, "Mother hubbard." He gritted out, yanking his phone from his pocket as Deadpool turned his attention back to him.

"Peter?" Steve's worried voice called from the other end of the line, "Where are you?"

"Uh, dad, hi, yeah, no I'm fine." Deadpool giggled slightly as Peter sighed, before turning back to the guy in front of him.

"So, Spidey, about that date?” Spider-Man's eyes widened slightly, _"Fu_ _ck yeah!”_

"Peter... What was that?" 

"Uh, nothing dad, just - Um no, _no._ Not like a date. No date.” Deadpool’s lips puckered out and - was… was he _pouting?_ This guy could _not_ be for real here.

“Awe you're such a tease bugaboo!”

“Okay, you're armed _and_ crazy, great, and I have a Physics test in the morning.”

"All the more reason to come home, Peter." Steve's unwavering stern tone caused Peter to flinch slightly.

"Dad, I'm kinda busy-,"

“You know what, why don't you leave this mess to me, and I'll handle it so you can get back to daddy, Honey-boo?” Peter frowned as Deadpool picked up half of a car door and inspected it for a moment.

“Shove it, no way in hell am I leaving someone at the mercy of a crazy guy with a gun.”

"Peter, Language!" 

He winced, "Sorry, dad."

“Aw, well that's just too bad, sweetie-pie.” Deadpool shrugged, “Heads up!” Deadpool called to his target, before tossing the scrap metal at him, and laughing giddily when it smashed into the guy's stomach.

“Hey, stop it…” Spider-Man scowled as Deadpool picked up a wheel, throwing that too at the poor guy, only to watch it pitifully bounce off him, “Hey st- I said _stop_ it! Stop throwing bits of car at him! Cut it out or I'll have to restrain you.”

Deadpool froze for a moment, “You know that's totally like number 5 on my Biggest-Turn-Ons list, right?”

"Peter, do you need back up?" 

Spider-Man clenched his fist, breathing deeply as he attempted to calm himself down, “Look, you're seriously irritating me now- No, not you dad-,"

“Would you say that I'm… _bugging_ you?” Peter growled darkly, flashing a glare that could rival Wolverine’s as Deadpool just giggled to himself, “Oh, that was good, Whitey came up with that one!”

“Look, I honestly don't care about who the hell you are, but you're seriously _pissing me off_ . I've already had a bad day today and I swear if you make it any worse, you'll be dangling from the top of Stark Tower _by your toes.”_ Spider-Man took a steadying breath.

 _"Language."_ Peter laughed nervously.

"Yeah, sorry dad, seriously everything's under control. It's just some crazy douche ba- I mean dorito... I'll be home soon, don't wait up. Bye, love you." He quickly hung up, scrubbing a hand over his face as he turned back to Deadpool.

"Aw, is daddy-o worried?" 

“Shut up." He scowled, "Now, why are you attacking- wait where did he go?”

“What?” Deadpool turned, blinking blankly at the space where his target had been. A look of complete distress passed over his masked face, and dropping his weapons, he finally spoke, “B-b-but… Oh _no_ he got away!” He wailed, hands coming up to rest on his cheeks, “Damn it, first Francis, now this guy? Thanks a lot bugaboo.”

“It wasn't _my_ fault. He was _your_ target or whatever.” Spidey shrugged, “Look just go home Deadpool, I'm tired and I can't be assed to deal with you right now.”

With a heavy sigh, Spider-Man jumped into the air and shot off into the night.

Here was a moment of silence then, “Oh stop it, Yellow! You're just _incorrigible!_ Yet you speak such truth… _Damn_ that ass!”

* * *

 

**[TEXT]**

**UNKNOWN NUMBER:**

_Hey there, sweetums, having a good morning?_

**ME:**

_What the hell? Who is this?_

**UNKNOWN NUMBER:**

_Just your friendly neighbourhood creeper, nothing to worry your pretty little head about Petey-poos_

**ME:**

_Nothing to worry about?_

**ME:**

_I'm literally getting a text at 3am from my “friendly neighbourhood creeper” that is not nothing to worry about._

**ME:**

_And don't call me Petey-poos_

**ME:**

_How the hell do you know my name!?_

**UNKNOWN NUMBER:**

_Never mind that. So how was your night?_

**UNKNOWN NUMBER:**

_Did daddy tuck you in?_

**ME:**

_Okay this is creepy, bye._

**UNKNOWN NUMBER:**

_WAIT WAIT! IT'S WADE!_

**UNKNOWN NUMBER:**

_YOU KNOW?_

**UNKNOWN NUMBER:**

_TALL DARK AND DEVILISHLY HANDSOME?_

**ME:**

_Don't you mean satanically ugly?_

**WADE THE WEIRDO:**

aw, shit, Pete that's too romantic! Stop you're making me blush!

**ME:**

_Shut up. And jeez wade, way to be a creeper._

**ME:**

_How did you get my number anyway?_

**WADE THE WEIRDO:**

_I have my sources._

**ME:**

_I swear to god wade I'll call the cops_

**WADE THE WEIRDO:**

_aw don't I even get a capital letter?_

**ME:**

_wade I'm literally calling the cops on you_

**WADE THE WEIRDO:**

_fine fine, I got it from Gwen._

**ME:**

_what!? no way! traitor..._

**WADE THE WEIRDO:**

_Im touched, really I am, Petey-poos_

**ME:**

_I told you to stop calling me that._

**WADE THE WEIRDO:**

_I know, I know…_

**WADE THE WEIRDO:**

_So, how are you this fine morn?_

**ME:**

_attempting to ignore the creeper texting me_

**WADE THE WEIRDO:**

_ah want me to KO this creeper for you sweetums?_

**ME:**

_you're the creeper wade_

**ME:**

_idiot_

**WADE THE WEIRDO:**

_WADE DOWN!_

**WADE THE WEIRDO:**

_Wade dOWN!!! I am mortally wounded._

**ME:**

_what the hell do you even want wade? It's way too early for this shit_

**WADE THE WEIRDO:**

_idk… I was bored_

**ME:**

_oh for fucks sake_

**ME:**

_good night wade_

**WADE THE WEIRDO:**

_wait no I'm sorry I did want something_

**WADE THE WEIRDO:**

_….._

**WADE THE WEIRDO:**

_Peter?_

**WADE THE WEIRDO:**

_aw come on Peter I'm boooorrreeddd_

**WADE THE WEIRDO:**

_come on sugar-bear, don't leave me hanging_

**WADE THE WEIRDO:**

_sweetums?_

**WADE THE WEIRDO:**

_damn it you're asleep aren't you?_


	4. Peter's in over-his-head

Peter stumbled into homeroom with under a minute to spare. Gwen shot him a questioning look and was hardly consoled when he merely shrugged sheepishly at her. So after both homeroom and the first few minutes of math was spent with Peter trying to ignore Gwen's badgering, he sighed, “It's nothing Gwen, Spidey business last night.” He shrugged, doodling on the corner of his page, “Some annoying weirdo was trying to kill some guy and…” He waved his hand dismissively.

“Peter the left side of your face is _purple_ , what happened?” She scowled, jotting down some notes on quadratic formula, before turning her piercing gaze back in her best friend.

“He threw half a car at me, it's nothin’ big!” He rubbed a hand under his tired eyes, “Now drop it or I'll start calling you by your full name.”

The blonde’s eyes narrowed dangerously, “You wouldn't dare…”

“Gwendoline Ann-Ma-,” She gasped, slapping a hand over his mouth, glaring daggers at him.

“Peter Parker, I swear to god, one more syllable and they won't find anything left of you except a single finger.”

“Alright, alright!” He chuckled under his breath, “Cool it, Gwen.”

She rolled her eyes and turned back to her work, “I just get worried about you, Peter…”

“I know.” He smiled, reaching over to squeeze her hand lightly.

* * *

It was lunch, as always Harry was already sat at their usual table, picking fussily at his sandwich. Gwen was perched next to him, chatting at him idly about some Oscorp thing as she munched into her pasta salad. The unusual thing, however was Wade, rambling on to Peter about something or other as they made their way to the table.

“-so _I'm_ there thinking, what the fuck, this is Canada, not the South Pole, why are you wearing a coat, it's _warm._ And these weak ass tourists are shivering like fucking _babies.”_ Wade cackled crazily, plopping down in the seat next to Gwen.

“Hey there, nerds!” He grinned, earning a laugh from Gwen and an eye roll from Harry.

“Rich nerd, to you.” The young heir smirked, pointing at Wade with a lettuce leaf.

“Yes! Your nerdiness!” The scarred teen bowed dramatically, “Shut up you guys, you damn boxes aren't really helping at the moment…” He mumbled to himself.

“What was that?” Peter scowled, digging into his salad.

“Oh nothin’!” Wade pipped cheerily, “You know what the best thing in the world is? _Tacos.”_ He unwrapped his tin foiled lunch, and brandished five taco bell tacos, “These beauties are both the light and bane of my life! A minute on the lips is a lifetime on the hips, as my aunt Clara used to say… Not that I ever _had_ an aunt Clara… I wonder if I even ever did have an aunt… Clara or not, she would've been better than the stupid landlady I've got.”

Peter blinked curiously at the other boy, “So, wait, you live alone?”

Wade turned to Peter, as if suddenly remembering he was there, “Yeah, I haven't lived with my family since I was ten. Mommy and daddy weren't exactly the best parents a boy could ask for. Thirteen orphanages later, here I am, outta good ol’ Canada and making my way in the States - New York of all places. It's weird though, I would've though New Yorkers would be more, well, _New York-y_ , haven't had anyone yell at me for my fugly mug get. Then again, I've only been here a week and a half.”

Peter bit his lip, not knowing quite what to say, "Uh, I had a rough time growing up to - Not quite to that extent, but I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Yikes, Petey, no need to board the pity train, I got over it." Wade grinned, his mouthful of tacos spraying over the table.

"Ew." Gwen's nose scrunched up, "Chew with your mouth closed, Wilson."

"Yes mommy." He swallowed, laughing loudly as she rolled her eyes, "Ooh! Remember guys, tomorrow is Wednesday, and on Wednesdays we wear pink!"

“I'm sorry but, did you seriously just make a Mean Girls reference?” Peter laughed, a look of pure bemusement on his face.

“The real question, Sweetums, is did you just _get_ my Mean Girls reference?”

Peter pouted slightly, sending an affronted glare at the other teen, “Shut up, Wade, Gwen forced me and Harry to watch it with her in 8th grade!”

Gwen snorted, “Yeah, but I didn't force you to watch it the next thousand times. In fact, if I remember correctly, which it's rare that I don't, it was _you_ forcing _me_ to watch it with you.”

At that Peter's cheeks blushed bright red as Harry and Gwen burst into laughter, followed closely by Wade's insane cackling, “Whatever! It was a _good_ movie okay? And you can't laugh at me, Wade, you have a _Hello Kitty_ bag!”

Wade’s mood instantaneously swung, his face turned impassive and his eyes narrowed, “Hello Kitty is the best TV show out there. Do not attempt to talk shit about it to me.”

Peter blinked, nodding slowly, “O-okay…”

“Great! Now, who's got English Lit next?” Peter groaned.

 _He_ did.

* * *

It was around 10PM, Spider-Man was crouched on a rooftop, eyes narrowed under his mask and scanning the area around him. Thankfully, nothing big was going on tonight, maybe he could get a head start on that English essay?

He stood, stretching out his muscles, and swooping over the twinkling lights of New York City. After a split second decision, he swerved right and jumped down into the centre of Times Square.

Around him lights flashed - large screens advertising everything, from movies to makeup splayed their pixels around him, and Spider-Man couldn't help the sudden thrill all the hustle and bustle of Times Square have him.

“Hey! Spider-Man!” People were stopping to take pictures, cheer for him, some even called out to him: but he payed them no mind. He simply grinned and waved at them.

“Hey there baby boy!” It was a voice louder than the others, causing some to fall silent, as the red and black suited anti-hero shoved his way through the crowd.

It took less than two seconds for Deadpool to be standing next to him, and less than half a second for him to have his large hand splayed on Spider-Man's waist and inching towards his butt.

“Move that hand any lower, Deadpool, and I'll chop it off with your own katana.” The superhero growled, right hand now reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He sighed heavily, suddenly realising how Tony-like he was acting, “What do you want, Deadpool?”

“Nothin’ much, baby boy, just saw ya swinging about and thought I'd tag along.” He grinned from under his mask, ignoring the swarms of whispers that circled the crowd around them.

“Hey, Spider-Man! Who is he?” Someone called.

“Wasn't he that guy killing people the other day?” Someone else joined in.

“Yeah!” Called another, “That's Deadpool! I hear he's a mercenary!”

“Hey, guys, cool it!” Spider-Man, raised a hand to quieten down their audience.

“We're cool, right, Spidey?” Deadpool questioned, not even waiting for an answer before hefting the hero up into his arms and smushing their cheeks together.

Under the mask Peter was blushing profusely, body parts were _touching_ and he could feel the anti-hero’s breath ghosting on his neck. As much as Deadpool irritated him, there was no way that Spider-Man could say he was unattractive. Through his mask jutted bulging muscles and ripped pectorals, along with a strongly defined jawline. Swallowing thickly, Peter wriggled from the other man’s grasp, “Sure, Deadpool, we’re cool... Just put me down! I can't breathe…”

“Oh! Sorry, bubble-butt! Sometimes I forget about the super human strength.” He instantly let go of the Spider-hero, however that didn't stop him from coping a feel or two whilst he was at it.

Spider-Man's cheeks burned, and once again, he was thankful for the mask. So with a seemingly blank look, he slapped Deadpool's lingering fingers away and addressed their audience, “Well, have a good night, everyone, and keep safe!” He waved one last time at the crowd, before jetting off with Deadpool in tow.

“So, Spidey, any reason why I'm all webbed up?” The grin was evident in Deadpool’s tone, “This is kinda turning me on.”

“Just… Shut up would you…?” The masked hero sighed heavily, eyes darting across the city, before settling on a nicely shaded rooftop. He shot put another web, and within seconds they were across the city.

“Okay, so… Revising the earlier topic.” Deadpool gave a blank expression, “What the fuck is happening?”

There was a long moment of silence. Spider-Man seemed to be contemplating the best way to say what was on his mind, and with a final huff of frustration, he turned to face the grinning anti-hero, “You can't just go around killing people all the time, Deadpool.”

“Uhhh, yeah I can… It's my job.” Spider-Man pinched the bridge of his nose, irritation rolling off of him in waves.

“No, you can't.” He looked up at the black and red clad man, “What do you want? Why are you suddenly here?”

With a sigh, Deadpool shrugged, “In my movie I sort of realised that I can't get my good looks back… Which is kind of contradictory because whoever a written this fanfiction has completely fucked up _that_ canon timeline-,”

“What the heck are you in about?” Spider-Man scowled.

“I wanna change Spidey… Sorta why I made such a big deal outta conveniently turning up where you would.”

Peter stared at him suspiciously for a few moment, “... Are you stalking me?”

Deadpool gave a gasp of shock, “What? No! I would never! Well… Okay… Maybe a little- but that's besides the point.”

They sat in silence for an extended amount of time, watching on as New York went about it's busy night life. Peter glanced back over to the masked anti-hero, his eyes seemed to be narrowed behind the mask (which, strangely enough, was extremely expressive) and his lips pursed.

“Hey, Spidey…” Deadpool’s voice was barely over a whisper, but his tone sent Spider-Man's senses on edge, “You can keep a secret, can't you?”

Peter thought for a moment. Deadpool was, from what he'd seen so far, a complicated guy - he wasn't simply a villain. Yes he killed people for money, but after doing some overnight homework on New York’s newest anti-hero, he'd found that Deadpool's victims all had something in common. There was an entire list of the types of people Deadpool killed - and none of them seemed to be good people.

“Yeah.” Peter spoke after a long while, “I can keep a secret.”

“I'd like to be a good guy, I don't mean like I wanna be a hero - I mean that would be totally awesome and shit, but that not what I-,” His face scrunched slightly as he paused his ramblings, “I guess what I'm trying to say is... As much as I love killing and shit… I see you guys… Out there, stopping bad guys- saving lives… That's a good thing you've got going on there.”

Peter studied Deadpool, “And you want to help?”

Deadpool glanced up, and with a sinister smirk, all seriousness was gone, “Oh, baby boy, I thought you'd never ask!”


	5. No Buts!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, so this chapter's a little short, BUT! Before you read, I'd just like to say that I've made a few minor changes to the last few chapters, in case you wanted to check back and have a look!

 

“No.”

Tony Stark, when determined, was a very scary man. He had dark brown eyes that would turn cold in a split second if something angered him, and unfortunately for Peter, something _had_ angered him. His arc reactor glowed ominously beneath his shirt as he held an almost neutral expression. _Almost_ neutral. That was never good.

“Dad listen-,” Peter tried, flinching slightly as he was instantly cut off.

“No, Peter, _you_ listen. That man is _dangerous._ He’s a kill-on-sight target which is a pretty idiotic choice of words considering he _can’t be killed.”_

“He wants to be a good guy, dad! He idolises you- and the rest of the Avengers!” Peter sighed, taking a seat on the couch, “Look, I’m not asking for you to adopt him into the Avengers or something. I just… He deserves a chance.”

Tony stared at Peter for a few more minutes, before dragging a hand down his face and giving a frustrated growl, “Well?” He turned to Steve, a hint of slight hysteria in his tone, “What do _you_ think?”

The blonde glanced sheepishly towards his partner, “It might be a good idea-,”

Peter smirked triumphantly at the same time as Tony made his way over to the drinks cabinet, pouring himself a generous scotch, “He's a D-list villain, Steve, how is that a _good_ idea?”

“Deadpool has yet to actually attack Peter, besides, if anything feels wrong, Peter will know straight away.” Tony made a strangled sort of growl, taking a deep gulp from his drink and closing his eyes, “He's growing up, Tony, we can't baby him forever.”

“Yes we can. He’s our baby. My baby.” The billionaire sighed heavily, face scrunching up as he thought. After a while he turned to look pointedly at Peter, “I still don't agree with this…” The youngest hero grinned, “And you're taking JARVIS with you. And if he so much as looks at you wrong, you call us straight away. No buts.”

Peter groaned, “But, _dad.”_

“No buts!”

* * *

Peter was sat up on the roof of Stark Tower, it was late - or early, depending on how you wanted to look at it - yet, New York was still brimming with life. Cabs beeped their horns, lights filled the city down below, people were out, drinking, shopping, just going about their lives. Peter was Spider-ed up, hanging upside down from a web at the edge of the building, camera in hand and taking photo’s of the street below.

“Spidey!” Peter shrieked, senses going haywire as he flailed helplessly for a moment. He steadied himself, scaling back up to the roof floor, before setting down his camera.

“Deadpool!” He hissed, “Jeez, don’t sneak up on me like that. What do you want?”

“Nothin’ much, just thought you’d like to know what an old lady’s getting mugged down on 35th.”

“Mother _trucker!”_ He yelped, grabbing Deadpool before swinging off.

“This is cosey.” The mercenary all but giggled, wriggling slightly in Spider-Man’s grip. Rolling his eyes, the hero dropped Deadpool, jumping to land on his feet just in time to catch the mugger off guard.

“Fuck!” The criminal’s eyes were wide as he stared at the pair, Deadpool unsheathed a sword, running his thumb along the blade.

“Gosh, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” Spider-Man tutted, “Also, tip for you buddy - if you’re gonna mug someone, _don’t_ dress like a mugger.”

“Get outta my way, asshole.” The guy growled, turning, only to be webbed back, “What the hell?”

“Watch your gosh darn, language!” Spider-Man grinned, “Deadpool, if you would-,”

“My pleasure, Spidey!” The merc skipped forwards, throwing the mugger into the wall and grabbing the woman’s purse and throwing it back to Spider-Man, “I’ll take care of this guy, baby boy!”

“Don’t kill him.” Spider-Man warned, as he rushed out into the street, and approached an elderly woman, “Ma’am, is this your purse?”

“Yes! Yes it is!” The woman smiled up at him, tears leaking down her wrinkled cheeks, “Thank you young man, how can I repay you?”

“No repayment necessary, ma’am, I’m just glad to help.” Peter smiled from behind the mask.

“Now, don’t be silly.” The woman chided, dabbing at her cheeks with a hankerchief from her retrieved purse, “Why don’t you get your friend over there - yes I can see he’s hiding behind that dumpster - and I’ll buy you both a hot cocoa. I know a wonderful little coffee shop, just down the block. I won’t take no for an answer.” With that, the woman linked arms with Peter, calling out to Deadpool, “Come on! You too! I see you!”

Deadpool shrugged, sheathing his katana, before taking the woman’s other side, “Now, what are your names? I have know the names of my heros, don't I?” Her eyes crinkled at the corners as she gave a teasing smile.

“Hero? Did you hear that Spidey! She called me a hero!” Deadpool squealed, the elderly woman gave a short chuckle, patting Deadpool's spandex-clad arm as if he were an over excited child. (which he was, an oversized and psychotic one, but an over excited child, none the less) “I’m Deadpool, and that’s my partner, you can call him just about anything.”

Peter rolled his eyes, “Ignore him, I’m just your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man.”

Soon enough they were seated in a small booth at 3AM, in a 24 hour cafe, hot chocolates in front of them and chatting idly with the elderly woman, "Not that I'm not grateful for you helping me, but what are two young men such as yourselves doing out and about at this time of night?"

"I could ask you the same thing, Ma'am." Peter smiled, as she chuckled. He'd rolled up his mask just enough to sip at his drink. He gulped down the steaming liquid, eyes fluttering at the familiar smell.

"Jesus mother of hell, Spidey!" Deadpool shrieked, "That stuff's gotta be boiling how the hell are you drinking it?"

"Hmm?" Peter scowled slightly, shrugged, "Dunno, habit I guess."

They chatted while they finished their drinks, and when they were done, after being scolded for offering to pay, they were back on the streets.

"Would you like us to walk you home ma'am?" Peter asked softly, "Thank you, for the cocoa, by the way."

"Oh, it was no trouble at all, dear." The woman smiled, eyes crinkling as she patted him lightly on the arm, "And there's no need, I only live just down the block."

Spider-Man fidgeted slightly worry for the woman settling over him, "I'll walk you home, grandma." Deadpool suddenly pipped up, linking arms with the woman, "You head on home, Spidey."

"If you're sure..." Peter watched as they walked off, Deadpool ranting loudly about something or other as the woman simply listened on, smiling at him. With one final look to them, Peter shook his head, and swung off into the night.


	6. Morning Aftermath

Peter blinked blearily awake, his back ached, his eyes were heavy and he really did not want to go to school. Groaning in protest, he reached for his alarm, slamming his fist down on it and accidentally breaking it.

“Crap.” He cursed, stumbling around his room in an attempt to find his things. A loud, double _ping!_ erupted from his phone, causing the Spider-boy to leap up with a shriek, senses skyrocketing as he dislodged himself from the ceiling. He picked up the device, and rolled his eyes at the text.

 **[Text]**  
**WADE THE WEIRDO:**  
_mornin’ sugar-bear, how’s it swinging?_

**WADE THE WEIRDO:**

_any new strange bruises formed over night?_

It had been about a week since Peter had met Wade Wilson and had yet to reveal he was Spider-Man to him. (Not that he ever would because that would be losing, to what, Peter had no clue, but whatever it was he sure as hell wasn’t losing to Weird-Wade) But of course, the annoying idiot just _happened_ to sense he had bruises and corner him in the locker room the Thursday before, wrestle him out of his shirt, and cause a really strange scene in front of the entire class.

Wade was a strange guy, he could go from giggling like a fourteen year old girl to serious as hell in a matter of seconds, and you’d have no idea what triggered the change. He never really spoke about his past, only that he’d lived in Canada, had been between foster homes for years, and had been abused when he was a kid. Not that Peter liked him or anything, but when Wade had mentioned that his home life as a kid hadn’t been a happy one, Peter had had the impulse to reach out to him. Of course, he didn’t act on it, and after a few words from Gwen, the idiot went back to telling some crazy story, that somehow involved him accidentally breaking into a store.

 **ME:**  
_I’m not your sugar-bear, wade, and no, no new bruises._

 **ME:**  
_You’ve got your chem book, right? we’ve got a test later and I know you don’t take notes, so you can copy some of mine._

 **WADE THE WEIRDO:**  
_aw, thanks sweetums, but unfortunately for you, I’m not gonna be in today_

 **ME:**  
_what? why? I thought you were forcing me to show you around New York today_

 **WADE THE WEIRDO:**  
_oh, don’t worry love-muffin, I fully intend to make our date, I wouldn’t miss it for the world._

 **ME:**  
_it's not a date, idiot. and what are you doing anyway?_

 **WADE THE WEIRDO:**  
_nothing in particular._

 **WADE THE WEIRDO:**  
_gotta bounce, honey-boo, wait for me outside school at 3_

 **ME:**  
_fine, but I’m not waiting for more than fifteen minutes, okay? If you’re not there, I’m going._

Peter sighed heavily, and set his phone aside, for some reason, he thought it might be a long day without Wade’s hilarity to keep him company. Besides, with Gwen on her intern intervention and Harry helping his dad at Oscorp Inc. there was more than a little chance that Flash may decide to revise his previous ‘chats’ with Peter. The teen tugged a brown sweater over his head, messing up his already tousled hair as he shoved his well-worn converse onto his feet, grabbed his bag and skateboard and made his way into the kitchen. Steve was already manning the coffee machine, smile bright despite the indecent hour (he may not be biologically related to Tony, but it was 6:50, and he was definitely his father’s son) and humming.

“Mornin’, son.” Steve called, old Brooklyn accent heavy, as it usually was in the mornings. Peter mumbled something incoherent back and dumped his things by the breakfast bar.

Steve shot his son an amused smile, shaking his head as Tony slumped in seconds later. Tony's suit was half made, hair askew, tie wonky, the left side of his collar was bent upwards, and his shirt was untucked. Steve produced a bowl (which was actually meant to be a serving bowl, but suficed to serve Spider-Man his breakfast) some milk and a box of cereal for Peter, and placed a small kiss to his forehead as he did so, next he placed a large mug of steaming coffee into Tony's grabby hands, tilting Tony's head up for a proper kiss, before allowing him his sustenance. Of course all of the avengers lived in the tower, most of the time they'd all spend together in Tony, Steve and Peter's floor (mainly because it was the floor they'd all started on, even before Peter had arrived) and sometimes they had breakfast together. 

Thor had been away with Jane for the last week, and wouldn't be back until lunch, Clint and Natasha were on a SHIELD mission for Fury, so that meant Bruce would most likely be joining them. Peter grinned forcefully towards Bruce as he came in and made his way towards Steve.

"Morning, Peter." He smiled, grabbing a mug and one of his special tea bags before heading for the kettle.

"Mnnmn' Br'ce." He mumbled around a mouthful of the sugariest cereal he'd found on their last grocery run. 

"Bruuuuuce." Tony whined. Where Peter could string together various sentences during his morning routine, Tony was more likely to just whine or call someone's name.

Bruce sighed, "Good morning, Tony."

Peter smiled as his family, watching as Bruce and Steve chatted idly at the counter, each sipping a mug of their preferred drinks (camomile tea and black coffee) as the news blared like white noise in the background, "Peter!" Tony suddenly exclaimed, now almost out of his morning trance, "What the hell?"

The brunette followed his father's gaze with a 'huh'? And turned to see footage of him, Deadpool and the lady from the night before laughing over hot chocolate. Steve quirked and eyebrow at his son, lips quirked at Tony's fish-out-of-water impression, "Wanna explain, Peter?" He questioned.

"It's nothing really, s'just that we got her purse back from a mugger, and she insisted on buying us hot cocoa as a thank you." He shrugged nonchalantly, "Just being your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man."

Glancing at the screen once more, Steve noted the time and nodded back to Peter, "Don't wanna be late for school do you, Peter?"

He shook his head, shovelling the last of his breakfast into his mouth, before downing almost half a carton of apple juice, before saying his goodbyes. He gave Bruce a quick hug, placed a peck to Steve's cheek and ruffled Tony's hair as he scooped up his bag and his skateboard at the door.


End file.
